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A 30 something blogging about her love affair with Fashion.....among other things!

Sunday, May 17, 2015

Game Face

Hello there!  How are you all doing?

I am fine but I am still baking under this heat. This week has been really hot in Pune,
up to 40 degrees. One day it got so hot it started raining. It was a short term blessing but I think all Puneites welcomed it.

I was invited for breakfast last Friday with some mothers from my kid's class. I know most of them since we meet everyday for pick up and drop offs, and we briefly talk during birthday parties and other gatherings but I am not close to any of them. Actually a mom who left India last year came back for Summer holidays and arranged the meet. I was surprised because even if she was always nice to me when we met at school, I would have never thought that she would remember me. Today I got to see another side of those mothers,  a side that I liked. And I hope we keep on having gatherings like these in the future.

Glasses -  Chathujak market, Bangkok
Scarf -  Clover Center 
Tunic -  Pratunam market, Bangkok
Jeans -  Thrifted
Shoes -  Fidak,  International fair in Dakar
Bangle -  can't remember 

Before coming to India I had Indians friends. Every Indian woman that I met abroad was sweet and nice and helpful. While living in Japan I was invited to their parties and they always welcomed  me with open arms. When I told them I was moving to Pune, they were all so excited and happy for me, giving me advice and such. So I was expecting to find the same treatment here as well from Indian women I met.

That was not the case. At the beginning most of them did not even look at me let along talk to me. So I kept my distances. If I was invited to parties I would go but since I am a bit shy it was hard to strike up a conversation. Slowly though I got to talk to some of them. After a while a few of them even approached me just because our kids were getting along greatly in class. We would exchange phone number and arrange for playdates. Yet for the rest of them, we would have a chance encounter and start an interesting conversation but the next day it is like they do not know me. And it hurts because I come from a country where people value greetings even with complete strangers.

This tunic is in Jersey and is so comfortable. It was also super cheap and I bought another one in black. The shop had all beautiful dresses but they were either short sleeves or sleeveless or midi length.  Too bad. I would have made a killing had there been maxi skirts and dresses.

Furthermore I always find it hard to accept when someone wants to know me just for me. Due to past experiences, I think that there is always something that they want from me. But in truth, they just want to know me.  One example, a mom whose daughter was getting really close to my son asked me for my phone number. I gave it to her and she started sending me nice messages on Viber. At first I found it strange but I would always respond. Then she asked me about my birthdate. I asked her why she wanted to know and she said because I was her friend. So I did tell her. And let me tell you that on the day of my birthday when I was having a crappy day,  her vehement wishes were like a rock I held on to not to drown. She was genuinely nice and I felt bad for thinking otherwise.

Because of that (and other things),  I started to see things differently. I am starting to think that maybe some of them are like me. Maybe they are shy to engage me, maybe they find me intimidating ( I was told that I was when I frown which I do most of the time) . Maybe if I smiled more and said hello before them, things would be different. All I need to do is to take the first step. What good will come to always wait for them to make it. After all I came to this country ready to get the full experience, to make my dreams come true, and part of that dream was to have Indian friends with whom I could enjoy everything with. Therefore I am starting... now...

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