Hi! It has been two months now since we moved back in my home country. It has been hard. I am tired, stressed, worried, frustrated. But it was all to be expected. What gets me the most is the lack of privacy. I used to be by my own half of my days when my husband worked and the kids were at school. I used to take my breakfast alone and then proceed on different tasks for me or my family depending on the days. I used to take walks, go sight seeing or window shopping by myself. I used to blog, or sew. I enjoyed being on my own.
Scarf - stolen from my Mom
Shirt - F.C. road
Top - 390 Mart
Pants - Dmart
Shoes - M.G. road
Bag - gift from Hubby
Hair pin - Chandan Nagar market
Earrings - gift
Necklace and Mickey Mouse ring - Clover center
But in Senegal, it is very hard to be by yourself unless you live in a very remote place. And even then, people will hunt you down to be with you. People live in community. People do things in community. We cook together, we eat together. We cannot even phantom the idea of going to a party alone. Basically, there is no such thing as being an individual. And I miss that. A small moment for me to do nothing but just breathe and be myself. But you cannot really have that in here. That would hurt feelings. People will start wondering if there is something wrong with you. Or worse, if they did something to offend you. And to keep the peace, you go along with what everybody is doing.
In Senegal, there is no such thing as doing whatever you want either. Before taking any decision, you have to consult your parents, your family even if you are an adult. It is expected for us who lived abroad for so long and are not used to the Sénégalese ways. We need to get informed. However, even people who spent their entire life here still do it. You consult your parents, an uncle, a boss, a spiritual guide before doing anything. I am not used to that. For most part of my adulthood, I used to take my own decision. Once I got married, I would ask my husband but even then I did my own thing and inform everyone later. But now I am forced to take a step back and consult, or listen to people offer you advice, which most of the time is not relevant. I know they do it because they have good intentions yet it gets on my nerve. I have been on my own doing my own thing for a long time now. I messed up more than once and there was no one to help me out. And in the end, I learned to depend on myself. And guess what? I am still here. I did not die or drown. I survived therefore people should trust me to be able to do the same here.
But, I guess it is one other thing I will have to get over with.