Skip to main content

Stereotypes

Have you ever Google "Black women"?  I have. Sometimes I Google images of black women to get inspiration on style. The first images that appear on my screen  are all related to hair, then come pictures of curvy black women, and finally pictures of women wearing almost nothing, in sexy poses. At the very end of the search, you can find pictures of famous black people, celebrities like Halle Berry or Oprah or the latest darling of Hollywood, Lupita N'yongo. 
  
Is that it? Are all black women across the world about hair, being curvy and posing provocatively? Is it how we are perceived? Are we falling yet into another stereotype? Because I can tell you right now, I am a black woman but I am not about hair, being curvy or posing butt naked.

What brought on this, is the fact that I barely see someone who resembles me on the Internet. I gave up a long time ago trying to find someone who looks like me on TV. As a matter of fact, I grew up watching people who had nothing in common with me, even Ashley on the Fresh Prince or the girls on Cosby Show because they were American. I am very happy for characters like Olivia Pope but at the end of the day, she is also nothing like me. When it comes to the Internet, I go on Pinterest, which I love but all I see are white women, with skinny bodies (unless I refine my search which is also another tricky process). Although I love their style, I cannot relate because they do not look like me. 

It would be nice to see myself being represented from time to time in a positive way on TV, social media and such. When you watch TV nowadays (and by TV, I mean the mainstream American TV that has invaded the entire world), black women are either cheating with the President, getting away with murder, rotting in a jail, brawling over silly dramas, or performing lap dances and such. Black women are much more than hair, big butts and being sexy. Black women are also more than being angry or bossy. They are of all shapes and all sizes, even of different skin tones. They believe in different religions, they have different personalities and aspire for far more greater things than what the Media and Internet will let you to believe. 

I am a black woman, I am an African woman, I am also a Muslim. All these mean is that I am a minority that is often ignored in the world. I do not have much of a voice. And I definitely do not get a say. My situation gets worse because I live abroad. I am not at home where I have the chance to be surrounded by women who like me are Black and Muslim. I live in places where for most of the time I may be the only Black Muslim around. It never bothered me before. I always joked that it made me "exotic". But it can be lonely sometimes. It can also be stressful because you always have to be good, always have to be on your best behavior. You do not want to be caught doing something bad because the locals will see it and think that everyone who is Black and Muslim or from Africa behaves that way.  

What I am trying to say is that I am not a stereotype. I maybe black, African and Muslim but I do not behave the way you would expect them to behave. I am not about hair. Truth be told I cannot do a thing to my hair because I am not good at it and I am lazy. I do not have the time to sit and twist my hair before going to bed so that it becomes all curly the following morning. As a matter of fact, I am very happy that I cover my hair because it is one less thing to worry about. I do straighten it also because it is easier to style when it is silky smooth. 
I am not about curves either. Do not get me wrong, I have nothing against curvy women. I think that they are beautiful from the bottom to the top. But as someone who has always been curvy, and is now bigger, I am not into that. I hate having a big butt and big hips. I hate having to always look for extra extra large while I shop. Sometimes I am dying to slip into that dress and not struggle to make it pass my breast and stomach. I do not want to be skinny. I have been and I did not like it either. I just want to have a flat stomach and smaller hips. 
I am not about posing sexy with almost nothing on. As a Muslim girl, I believe in modesty. You want to wear sexy clothes, I will not judge you. All I am saying is that it is no who I am now, and it is not who I want to be. I would wear skinny jeans and expose my neck and arms but that is as much skin as you would see from me. 

I have a character that is just me, a mixture of my Dad and my Mom, my extended family and my friends, my husband and my kids, experiences and life events that forge me into the woman I am today. I may be looking for someone who resembles me out there but I know for a fact that no one else is. 



Blazer -  Max
Dress -  Cupid
Pants -  Brandmart
Shoes -  Shimamura



I absolutely love this dress and wear it often to"dress" up a bit. If it had sleeves it would have been the perfect little dress



A touch of masculinity with the Oxford

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

A la Camerounaise

Remember when I said that I was never going to change my style, because I like what I like (which is to be comfortable)?

Well I lied! My style is slowly changing. As my love life is in shambles at the moment ( I will get to that in a future post, I promise), I feel the need to go for a drastic change. I have contemplated the idea of cutting my hair (been there, done that!), dying it blond/ red or just forget this Hijabi thing all together. But as always, it is in the clothing department that I get to transform myself.

Truth be told, I am sure that even when things were perfectly normal at home, I would still go with a style change. The reason being that I am influenced at work. Women at my job are very simple and casual but they can turn the heat up from time to time. My favorite day is Friday when almost every one get to dress up in Traditional Attire. As someone who does not have many traditional attires, I am amazed at all the designs and styles out there. My eyes are feasting and …

When after work turns into a Fashion shoot

I went to my first "After work" the other day. For those who do not know what that is, "After work" is when colleagues get together for drinks or diner after work. Oups! I forgot to tell you! I started working for an international aid agency recently. I finally found myself a job that I also happen to like. Praise the Lord! I have been working for the last few months. It is challenging but I get to learn so many new things. And the best part are the people I get to work with particulalry the ladies. I enjoy them, every single one of them for they all have interesting personalities. They are also hilarious. I spend my days laughing. And I could not be more grateful to God for that!
Since two of my co workers were leaving (sad part of my job: people do not tend to work there for a long time), we decided to surprise them with an "After work"/ farewell party. We went to Marina Bay, which is a seaside hotel with a fabulous pool located in a hip area called …

Ramadan Lethargy

Hello dears.

How are you?

And for those fasting, how is your Ramadan so far?

We are in the last week of Ramadan and I am feeling great. I cannot complain.
However I could not help but notice a certain lethargy that has engulfed the town and the people living in it. since the beginning of Ramadan. For starters people go to work later than usual because they are still trying to catch some sleep between the time they eat and pray in the morning and the time they go to work. It is harder particularly for women who wake up early to cook something for their families. Even when you get organized and cook something the night before going to bed, you still have to get up earlier to heat it up. And most women I know are not content on cooking something simple, like ordinary breakfast. They want to make elaborate meals that would please their families. They feel the pressure more than anybody else, and they sleep also less.
This lack of sleep can have some serious consequences on the body and the m…