The prayer

Salaam!

Do you know about the singer Ciara? Did you know that women often ask her about her "prayer" because she found a good husband in NFL player Russel Willson. 

Anarkali (Indian tunic) - Soch (thrifted)

Pants - Numero Uno

Shoes - Guess

Hath pool (hand jewelry) - Numero Uno

As far as I can tell from the media and their social media, Russel does treat her like a Queen. He is always gushing about her, supporting her and doting on her. They seem to form a wonderful couple. If you did not know, prior to being with Russel, Ciara was with the rapper Future, who already had several other baby mothers. She got pregnant by him and gave birth to a son. Future was known to be a womanizer and cheated on Ciara. But now she put that behind her, having a new family with Russel with whom she has two other children now. Women have been asking Ciara about her prayer, in other words what did she specifically ask God to finally end up with such a great man. 

As we approach the auspicious night of Laylatul Khadr many people will make duas asking GOD to grant their wishes. Some will ask for a new or a better job, some will ask for health and world peace, some will ask for their sins to be forgiven, to enter Paradise and other will ask to be married to a particular person. As far as I am concerned, I never prayed to God for a specific man except for my former boyfriend /(now ex-husband) to finally marry me. The thing is I never really knew what I wanted in a man until I got married. I always went with my heart. And now that I have been divorced for 5 years, I have a better idea of what I am looking for in a man. So today I am giving you my prayer, in other words, all the things I am looking for in a man. Who knows? Maybe ALLAH will create such a man for me. 

- He must be God fearing, so much that he would think twice before doing certain things to me (or other people) such as lie and cheat.

- He must be practicing his religion and encourage me to do the same. 

- He must love and care for my children as if they were his.

- He must take care and educate the children we have, together with me (in other words not make me feel like a married single mother) 

- He must be tolerant, and understanding.

- He must know about the world, love to travel, eat exotic food and speak several languages 

- He must be intelligent and good at conversations and debates

- He must be financially stable, and able and willing to provide for me (house, car, travel, stipend)

-He must be generous with his time, his love and his money.

- He must be sweet and kind and an empath (in general but also towards me)

- He must never raise his voice, and be violent towards me and my children. 

- He must know how to resolve conflicts in a calm manner 

- He must love me enough to put me on a pedestal, but be lucid enough to tell me when I do something       wrong 

- He must be romantic and corny as hell

- He must not smoke, or drink

- He must be taller than me and strong enough to be able to lift me even when I weigh 100 kilos. 

- He must love my family and friends as much or even more than me and treat them right

- He must be someone driven and focus on succeeding yet be someone who knows how to unwind and relax and take time for his family and friends

- He must be self reliant. He must cook and clean, participate in the household chores. 

- He must be my friend 

- He does not need to be super handsome but has enough swag to make me swoon

- He must be good in bed, cater to my wildest fantasies, color outside the lines 

- He must know how to communicate, express his feelings freely and be vulnerable with me

- He must be able to kill mices and lizards that enter our house, and protect me against other animals.

- He must protect me and defend me

- He must not let anyone influence him or let outsiders come between us. 

- He must be a monogamist. 

- He must marry me. 

- He must love me (unconditionnaly) 

The more I read this list, the less it feels like a prayer. This list feels a tad arrogant, because who am I really to ask for almost a perfect being. I am not perfect. But these are qualities I really want my future husband to have (or things I want him to do). Am I asking too much? Can a man have all of these qualities? Can a man having all these qualities make me happy? I am having doubts particularly in today's society when I am told that this is impossible. However, it is a prayer. Surely If I ask, GOD can deliver. HE is capable of that and more. Am I doubting GOD? Or do I think that I do not deserve to have such a man (if this is what I truly desire). Both my Bff have told me in the past that I think I do not deserve good things. I know that it is true but I do not know where this feeling comes from? I have to dig deep to figure out why I am like that. Maybe before asking GOD for what I think is a good man for me, first I have to concentrate on me and on healing, on breaking the patterns. I need to be ready to accept HIS blessings. In others words, I should pray for me, right?.  

The details on the Anarkali is called Chikankari, although I have a feeling this one was done by a machine.

My new favorite pair of shoes