Situationships or how to find the true character of a person

I am no relationship expert but over the years, I have acquired some wisdom on the matter. It is probably because of my own experience. But mostly because now I am surrounded by people (or women) who openly discuss their relationships troubles. 

Today, I want to talk about 4 situations during which the true colors of the person you are dating will be revealed. The aim of dating is to get to know a person to see if you want them to become your spouse or lifelong partner. Unless you are into casual dating, which is fine also. You know, to each his own. Nevertheless, being in the 4 situations I will discuss below, can help you determine the character of any person, let alone your date. 

Dress and matching scarf - from a local tailor

Bag - Jolof Cuir Collection

Shoes -  Petersen market

Accessories - Petersen market 

While traveling:

I think it is one of the most important situation in which you get to truly know a person. From the planning of the trip to the trip itself. It could be a weekend getaway or a week long trip. It could happen in a neighboring city or in another continent. Just by planning the trip, you can tell a lot by your partner financial situation (unless he or she really hides it), you could learn about his spending habit, whether he is cheap or not.  Moreover, you could learn about his taste. I am really into luxury even though I am not that rich. I am willing to stay in three stars hotels and Airbnb's. But right now I am too old to be staying in a youth hostels where you share bathrooms. I am not into that backpacker lifestyle. I have some standards and I'd rather have a partner that have similar standards. Furthermore,  by traveling you get to spend so much time with your partner, it is often hard to hide any flaw. During a trip, so many things could happen: the plane could be delayed or the weather could put a damp on your sight seeing schedule. Depending on how your partner reacts, you can see if this person is a control freak or easy going for example. 

During a fight:

The way your partner reacts during a fight is also a huge indicator. Does he or she shouts, insults, gets physical (violent) or is he/ she cool, calm and collected. Disagreements do occur during a relationship. But you want to be with someone who can stay relatively calm instead of someone who is going to blow up. You also want someone who is ready to talk about it. I understand people who leave to keep their cool. But I do not like people who use the silent treatment. It is manipulative. I also cannot stand someone who cannot apologize or put the blame always on someone else. 

During an illness:

The way your partner treats you when you are ill will tell you a lot about who he is. I have girlfriends who would pretend to be sick just to see how their boyfriend would react. One of them even told me that she broke up with a guy just because she told him on the phone that she was sick, and the guy did not even bother asking her what she had and if he could take her to see a doctor. I did find it hilarious. But come to think of it, if the person truly cared wouldn't he at least inquire or show concern? In her defense, she did have a former boyfriend, whom right after she told him about being sick, drove to her house to see her, and brought food. He even took her prescription to the pharmacy to buy her medicine. My girlfriend  was only suffering from anemia but what would happen in case of a long term illness like cancer. Is the person going to stick by your side or flee at the first occasion. After all, they say: " in sickness and in health."

In hardship:

In life, we are always facing problems. It can come in different forms. It could be loss of a job, or loss of a family member or friend. We have issues that can be either financial, work related or society related (or even health related but we already discuss it above). Or God forbid, problems with the law. If you ever experienced such hardships, you know that having a partner right by your side is a game changer. You can truly tell about a person when you are feeling down. Is the partner supportive? Does he/she believe in you? Does he/she trust you? Will he/she bear it all or abandon you when the going gets tough? All these questions might be answered during a hardship. 

That is all for now. I am convinced that there are other situations that can reveal the character of your date to you. But be reminded that some people have the knack for hiding who they really are. Just like there are some people who are experts at ignoring red flags. So let us discuss in the comments. Tell me about one particular situation during which you knew he or she was the one for you? Or one that made you run away as fast as you can! Or were you duped into a relationship only to find out much later your partner's true character. Let us chat!!!

My latest bag, all in leather and made in Senegal

Might tell the tale on how it was made someday on this blog!