Djinn Boyfriend (Farrou Rap)

Hello my dears. 

It has been more than a year since I posted about my love life or lack there of. I thought I would give you a little update. I hope you are interested. 

Dress - tailor made

Simple version of the KOONI dress from my latest collection

Shoes - Adanif

However, I am not going to just talk about my love life. Today I want to brush the subject of "Farrou Rap". A "Farrou Rap" can be loosely translated to "Djinn Boyfriend". A djinn can be described as a super natural being in Islamic Arabic mythology. In my country it is believed that women who are unlucky in love have djinn boyfriends. I actually saw an entire list of all the "symptoms" of having a djinn boyfriend on Twitter recently, and sadly I think I have some of them. But first let me share them with y'all so you have an idea of what I am talking about.

Basically the post on Twitter says that these below are the symptoms of having a djinn boyfriend:

- does not want to get married

- has an aversion for the opposite sex

- spends a lot of time in the bathroom

- watches herself in the mirror too much

- has a low faith and does not pray often

- wears make up and perfume before going to bed

- dreams of having sexual relations

- wakes up with bruises all over her body

- hates scents such as Musk

- is irascible and changes behavior very suddenly 

I also would like to add other detailed symptoms I often hear about from women:

- dreams of having intimate relations with the opposite sex. 

 you often dream of having intimate relations with a male, it could be anyone, but usually someone closed to you, even a relative. Those dreams can be so intense that you wake up drenched, or with marks all over your body. It is believed to happen to single women who before going to bed, wear sexy lingerie and put on perfume. Go figure why? 

- is unlucky in love

Every time you have a real boyfriend, the relationship is short lived sometimes for really stupid or inexplicable reasons. Whenever you are with your boyfriend or husband, you become extremely annoyed at him and cannot stand him. You often fight over silly things. And you end up breaking up. It is also believed that if your djiin boyfriend is really mean he can even "kill" your real boyfriend. He would die inexplicably. 

Here, I am mainly discussing women but note that this concept of djinn relation can happen to both sexes. A man can also have a djinn girlfriend. Funnily enough we almost never hear men talk about it.

I am skeptic. I do question anything and everything. That is why I cannot believe in the concept of djinn boyfriend or girlfriend. I believe that it is a way for the Patriarchy to get a hold on women. Particularly when they say that it happens to women who go out at night to clubs or bars, or even to the beach, I have to think twice. It becomes also suspicious when they say that it happens to women often because they do not hide their bodies like men do. In other words, if I walk around in a sexy attire or sleep naked I have a better chance of attracting a djinn boyfriend than when I am covered. Thankfully, I am modest and I sleep with my clothes on. 

I also believe that putting everything bad that happens to one's life on a djinn boyfriend is a way for women to make excuses for their behavior. I have never really been lucky in love. Most of the men I have been with treated me poorly or cheated on me. But I do not blame it on a fictional djinn. I blame it on them but also on myself because I was the one seeking relations with those men all the while knowing who they were. I went along because I was dumb enough to think that my love could change them. Even when these men hid their behavior so well to me, when I finally discovered who they truly were, I still stayed trying to be a "ride or die". And I was the one who suffered the most. 

In the end, I chose not to believe in the djinn boyfriend concept. I also believe that I do not have one. I know that men in general annoy me. And if you are a woman in this world, you can easily understand why. Men (let me add "most" before some of y'all come for me) are misogynist, egotistical, liars, abusers and rapists. Some of y'all may find these statements harsh but this is the world we are living in. Women are belittled, catcalled, assaulted in almost all corners of the globe. And in my country it is even worse. You have to understand that in Senegal, men are treated like kings. As long as they work and have a little money to provide, they can do no wrong. They can womanize while having a wife at home, they can beat their wives to a pulp and no one would care. They could even abandon wife and children for a new and better life and no one would say anything. And women are asked to bear it all, we are told that if we suffer, our children will prosper. I am sorry but this one is not down for it anymore. Now, you know how hard it is for me to find someone suitable enough to even talk to, let along date. 

Do I get lonely sometimes? Yes, I do. I am only human after all. I crave human contact, I crave intimacy. But I am different now. Therefore, my cravings will never be big enough to push me into the hands of a man who is not for me. I am not going to compromise on what I want just because I am lonely and getting older and the chances of finding a husband are getting slimmer by the minute. Well that is what I have been told because men in my country are also ageist. Men my age are not looking for women my age. They are looking for women 2, 5 to 10 years younger. They think that by marrying someone younger, they can spice up their lives and at the same time find someone to take care of them when they are older. 

A year ago I was done with love. Now I have not entirely crossed it off my list. I am not looking for it but if it comes my way, I won't say no to it as well. But it won't be a crazy in love, can't live with you, can't live without you, Bollywood type of love. I do not want to fall in love. I want to be level headed in love, if that even makes sense. That is why this entire idea of djinn boyfriend is ludicrous to me because it always goes back to romanticizing women suffering for love. And I ain't here for it. From now on, LOVE better be sweet or it ain't worth it.