Put Together (featuring another matchy matchy outfit)
Hello you guys!
Today I am going to rant!
I was watching a video on YouTube about how to look expensive. FYI, I started watching a lot of YouTube videos about Fashion. I go through cycles on YouTube or Netflix. One period it is only Bollywood movies and songs, another is about crime
series and right now it is watching fashion bloggers/youtubers.
But back at the topic. I was watching this youtuber give tips on how to look expensive. I skipped some parts of the video but her main message was that if you want to look expensive you have to wear polished clothes in neutral colors that fit you well and also do your hair and nails. I did agree for some parts of the video. As a true child of my Mother, I always try to wear clothes that are at least ironed well before leaving my house. And I am never wearing torn clothes intentionally. To this day, I still cannot buy distressed jeans. If my clothes are torn, I try and fix them myself or ask a tailor.
I had a problem with the video when the youtuber started talking about wearing neutrals and such. I love me some neutrals but I never reach for them. Recently I really had to because I have noticed how easy it was to build outfits starting from neutrals. Yet, most of the time I am in bold colors or in prints. I wear them any way I want, coordinating, clashing them. At work I am known for being an experimental dresser. And my coworkers always make fun of the fact that I am constantly wearing at least 3 colors or more. The idea that just because I mix prints and color, I do not look expensive or put together enough bothers me a lot.
The youtuber also said that having a fresh blowout or a fresh hairstyle makes you look expensive. That comment took me back to what an Indian girlfriend once said. She was like; "for a woman to look nice and stylish, she has to have a nice hairstyle". And I felt some type of way because my head is covered, at least when I go outside. I have been wearing a scarf since 2008, and I have not stopped yet. Before that, I used to straightened my hair, do box breads, have a weave and wear wigs. But ever since I started to wear a scarf, I took less care of my hair. Truth be told it is a mess right now. I love my hair but it is not something I want to spend huge amount of time and money on. Most times it is an after thought. I braid it and let it be. For this reason, I even thought about having dreadlocks. I am still undecided about that. Anyway, that got me thinking that maybe I will never look put together enough just because I am always wearing a headscarf and not showing my hair in a nice new do.
The reason why the statements of that youtuber rubbed me the wrong way is because I realized that what she thought was put together or expensive looking was based on aesthetics of White people.
I live in a country that has been colonized by France. And with colonization, came a new way of living where Senegalese people had to be westernized. Our nappy heads were perceived as unruly, and we had to tame them, hence the hair straightening. To this day, if I have my hair all natural, my Mother would pester me to straighten it. And once I did, she would tell me that I looked good. Other Senegalese women wear weaves or wigs made with natural Indian hair that cost an arm and a leg. I get the appeal. I lived in India and I saw so many beautiful hair that I often imagined what it would be like to have such luscious tresses on my head. But all those are standards of beauty that are not ours. And having nappy, 4C type of hair should be considered much as put together as having straight long hair.
With colonization, also came western style of dressing. We adopted dresses and suits and relegated our Bubus to special occasions or for when we are old. Senegalese people are the sharpest dressers I know from Formal to Casual. Yet in formal business settings, wearing a suit is still the norm for men, and women. We started to tolerate bold traditional style clothing for work but not all of corporate Senegal. In my country, we judge a book by its cover and you will never be taken seriously if you do not dress sharp aka western style.
What I am trying to say is that when it comes to dressing up, I am tired of seeing yet another white skinny blonde with blue eyes telling me what is OK to wear, or not. Obviously, it is her opinion. Yet every time you open a fashion post, a fashion magazine or go on Youtube, you can find repeats of the same topic, giving away the same advice. I am all so tired of it.
I am not sure what those youtubers, vloggers, fashion editors are trying to achieve. Maybe it is to please their target audience. And I guess I should not get mad because I am probably not their target audience. But it is tiring that while we are living in such a diverse world, we still want to uphold standards from only one community. It is also very scary. It is like travelling on the subway on a Monday morning in Tokyo where everyone is dressed the same and in the same color. How fun can that be?
Thankfully there is enough representation in this world via social media right now that I can get inspiration from all types of women. If you see the people I follow on Instagram there are mostly Black, African women, some skinny, some curvy, some with simple aesthetics, others that are bold. But I see them and I feel like: Yes! At least there is a different point of view. I also follow modest women, Asian women and some white women that I feel bring something to my world. They inspire me, push me to be myself but also to try something different, but not so different that it does not apply to my lifestyle.
I am also happy that even in my own country, some women are starting to dress different that the norm. Natural hair is not so out of place, and dreadlocks are less and less considered "the devil". There is a sense of going back to our roots. People rock the Bubus more and more, sometimes even going as far as using our traditional fabrics. We are proudly Senegalese, African and we want our clothes to reflect that. I have to admit that I have appreciated Senegalese tradi-fashion more after I moved back. And I am always looking for ways to incorporate more of it in my style. Anyway, I hope that this movement will just keep on getting better and bigger.
As for me, I do not dress like anybody else. It took me a while to realize that I dress based on where I am from but also on where I am living at the moment. I also dress based on how I feel, how my body is and what makes me feel comfortable. Sometimes my shoes do not match my bag, sometimes they do. Sometimes I straighten my hair, sometimes I leave it just the way it is. Sometimes I wear one color, other times I am a walking rainbow. The message I am trying to convey is that there is no cookie cutter mold for how to look put together and expensive as long as you rock whatever you are wearing with confidence. Take all the inspiration you want out there but remember to make it your own. Be You!!!
I really would like to discuss this topic further. So let me know what you think in the comments below.
Today I am going to rant!
I was watching a video on YouTube about how to look expensive. FYI, I started watching a lot of YouTube videos about Fashion. I go through cycles on YouTube or Netflix. One period it is only Bollywood movies and songs, another is about crime
series and right now it is watching fashion bloggers/youtubers.
But back at the topic. I was watching this youtuber give tips on how to look expensive. I skipped some parts of the video but her main message was that if you want to look expensive you have to wear polished clothes in neutral colors that fit you well and also do your hair and nails. I did agree for some parts of the video. As a true child of my Mother, I always try to wear clothes that are at least ironed well before leaving my house. And I am never wearing torn clothes intentionally. To this day, I still cannot buy distressed jeans. If my clothes are torn, I try and fix them myself or ask a tailor.
Bogolan Fabric - bought from a friend
Matching kimono and pants - tailored made
Tank top - Sandaga market
Shoes - Kadel
Bag - Numero Uno
Headband (worn as a necklace) and earrings - Cote d'Ivoire Fair
Sunglasses - random street vendor
The youtuber also said that having a fresh blowout or a fresh hairstyle makes you look expensive. That comment took me back to what an Indian girlfriend once said. She was like; "for a woman to look nice and stylish, she has to have a nice hairstyle". And I felt some type of way because my head is covered, at least when I go outside. I have been wearing a scarf since 2008, and I have not stopped yet. Before that, I used to straightened my hair, do box breads, have a weave and wear wigs. But ever since I started to wear a scarf, I took less care of my hair. Truth be told it is a mess right now. I love my hair but it is not something I want to spend huge amount of time and money on. Most times it is an after thought. I braid it and let it be. For this reason, I even thought about having dreadlocks. I am still undecided about that. Anyway, that got me thinking that maybe I will never look put together enough just because I am always wearing a headscarf and not showing my hair in a nice new do.
The reason why the statements of that youtuber rubbed me the wrong way is because I realized that what she thought was put together or expensive looking was based on aesthetics of White people.
I live in a country that has been colonized by France. And with colonization, came a new way of living where Senegalese people had to be westernized. Our nappy heads were perceived as unruly, and we had to tame them, hence the hair straightening. To this day, if I have my hair all natural, my Mother would pester me to straighten it. And once I did, she would tell me that I looked good. Other Senegalese women wear weaves or wigs made with natural Indian hair that cost an arm and a leg. I get the appeal. I lived in India and I saw so many beautiful hair that I often imagined what it would be like to have such luscious tresses on my head. But all those are standards of beauty that are not ours. And having nappy, 4C type of hair should be considered much as put together as having straight long hair.
With colonization, also came western style of dressing. We adopted dresses and suits and relegated our Bubus to special occasions or for when we are old. Senegalese people are the sharpest dressers I know from Formal to Casual. Yet in formal business settings, wearing a suit is still the norm for men, and women. We started to tolerate bold traditional style clothing for work but not all of corporate Senegal. In my country, we judge a book by its cover and you will never be taken seriously if you do not dress sharp aka western style.
What I am trying to say is that when it comes to dressing up, I am tired of seeing yet another white skinny blonde with blue eyes telling me what is OK to wear, or not. Obviously, it is her opinion. Yet every time you open a fashion post, a fashion magazine or go on Youtube, you can find repeats of the same topic, giving away the same advice. I am all so tired of it.
I am not sure what those youtubers, vloggers, fashion editors are trying to achieve. Maybe it is to please their target audience. And I guess I should not get mad because I am probably not their target audience. But it is tiring that while we are living in such a diverse world, we still want to uphold standards from only one community. It is also very scary. It is like travelling on the subway on a Monday morning in Tokyo where everyone is dressed the same and in the same color. How fun can that be?
Thankfully there is enough representation in this world via social media right now that I can get inspiration from all types of women. If you see the people I follow on Instagram there are mostly Black, African women, some skinny, some curvy, some with simple aesthetics, others that are bold. But I see them and I feel like: Yes! At least there is a different point of view. I also follow modest women, Asian women and some white women that I feel bring something to my world. They inspire me, push me to be myself but also to try something different, but not so different that it does not apply to my lifestyle.
I am also happy that even in my own country, some women are starting to dress different that the norm. Natural hair is not so out of place, and dreadlocks are less and less considered "the devil". There is a sense of going back to our roots. People rock the Bubus more and more, sometimes even going as far as using our traditional fabrics. We are proudly Senegalese, African and we want our clothes to reflect that. I have to admit that I have appreciated Senegalese tradi-fashion more after I moved back. And I am always looking for ways to incorporate more of it in my style. Anyway, I hope that this movement will just keep on getting better and bigger.
As for me, I do not dress like anybody else. It took me a while to realize that I dress based on where I am from but also on where I am living at the moment. I also dress based on how I feel, how my body is and what makes me feel comfortable. Sometimes my shoes do not match my bag, sometimes they do. Sometimes I straighten my hair, sometimes I leave it just the way it is. Sometimes I wear one color, other times I am a walking rainbow. The message I am trying to convey is that there is no cookie cutter mold for how to look put together and expensive as long as you rock whatever you are wearing with confidence. Take all the inspiration you want out there but remember to make it your own. Be You!!!
I really would like to discuss this topic further. So let me know what you think in the comments below.
Comments
like you know what you're talking about! Thanks
Stop by my blog outfitrate.com