Culotté (Social Media Etiquette)
Hello
Today's post will be a lengthy rant about the lack of etiquette in using social media. (You have been warned)
I am a fan of social media. Each of the ones I use serves a different purpose. I go on Facebook to connect with my friends who are scattered all over the world. Whatsapp also serves the same purpose except that it is reserved for those friends that I have a closer connection with. I use Instagram and Blogger to share my passion for fashion. I also use it to travel without ever living my house. I also use Pinterest for fashion and styling tips. And finally I go on Twitter to relieve my stress and laugh out loud. I am very present on social media. I like to engage in discussions, drool on styles and troll my friends. But what I hate the most is when someone in my circle sends me a porn video or some other sensitive thing.
Recently, a male friend of mine sent me a porn video. We were chatting on Whatsapp and he asked me what I was doing. I answered that I was looking for something to watch on Netflix. He replied by sending me a porn video of someone performing cunnilingus on a woman. I was shocked. He did not even warn me. The first thing you saw was a mouth sucking on a vagina. I immediately deleted it and proceeded to ask that person what was wrong with him. Let's just say that I did not minced my words. I even used the F words a couple of times. What made me angrier was that he did not even realized what was wrong and started to get angry. I just blocked him on all my social media without further explanation.
This is not the first time someone sent me something disturbing. Back when I was in college, and none of these social media existed, a (male) childhood friend sent me a video of a woman trying to have intercourse with a horse. I was so disturbed by it firstly because he did not warn me, the video was shocking to say the least and I was watching it in a public library. After the initial shock, I deleted it and sent a reply email asking the person why he thought this was something he should send me. He just answered that he found it funny. I did not block that person (because back then, I did not even know it was possible via email) but I started to distance myself from him. Nowadays, when I see him, I cordially say hello and go on my way.
I have the feeling that some people do not know how to use social media. In what world did you think it was okay to send me a porn video? I am not a prude. It is not like I never watched porn before. But it does not mean that I want someone to send me porn videos particularly when I did not even asked for them. If I want to watch porn, I know where to look. Thank you very much.
I am angry at the lack of respect because it boils down to it. That person did not respect me enough not to send me such videos. Or did I give him mixed signals? Even if I openly talked about sex with him, that still does not give him the right to send me pornographic content.
But porn is not the only disturbing thing I received on social media. Recently my father shared a video of an Argentinian supporter who decided to jump from a building because his soccer team lost a match during the World Cup. I watched the video and was mad. My Dad, the one who is always quick to judge the crazy things people share on WhatsApp, was the one who send me the video. What was he thinking? Obviously, since he is my Dad, I cannot really block him or tell him anything. Actually what he does not know is that I do not even watch 90% of the videos he sends me. I do not have time for that. Him on the other hand, has plenty of time to receive and shared videos. I am actually glad he usually filters them before re-sending. But that time, I do not know what got into him.
Social media should bring joy to the people using it. However since we are only humans with many faults, we use this fun tool and turn it into a weapon. Social media is a way of stalking, bullying, trolling, basically to do harm to people we do not necessarily know. Even the funniest of things turns into a full on beef with name calling and death threats just because of a difference of opinion. Furthermore we tend to overshare. Not everyone is interested in seeing pictures of what you ate for diner or where you went on vacation. Not everyone is also interested in seeing that video of terrorists beheading hostages or of you having a nervous breakdown.
With social media, people do not have restraint. They say what they want, when they want and however they want it. They think that the 280 words they were given on Twitter for example, give them the right to free speech. Freedom of speech is a right every one of us human should have. But this right also comes with responsibility. The responsibility not to hurt people around you. The platform also do not give you the right to share sensitive contents. Or even if you must, a simple warning or a question should suffice. Like "Hey girl! I know you are bored. How about you watch a video of a man going down on a woman?" I would still respond "Hell to the no!" and judge you. But at least we might still be friends (and I won' t have to block you indefinitely).
As much as I like to judge all of y'all for being stupid on Social media, I have to admit that I have been guilty of almost all the things I mentioned above. I do share stuff about me, my shoes, my diner plates, my kids, things I find interesting but that might bore you. I have been trolling people on social media, usually it is harmless but I probably hurt someone's feelings unintentionally once or thrice. I also had some beef on twitter and use some words I would not have allowed my kids to say. But I have never ever ever shared some porn even with my closest friends. And If I send something to them that I find somewhat sensitive, I always warn them first so at least they can chose to see it or not.
I wish with the use of every social media platform, came a set of rules like these:
- You cannot say anything offensive, racist, sexist, colorist, mean,
- You cannot insult people
- You cannot have a beef with your ex for us to witness
- You cannot send porn or a sex tape
- You cannot share nude pics of you or someone else
- You cannot share a dick pic
- You cannot tag someone on a picture where he or she is not on point
- You cannot share video of someone being raped, assaulted, beheaded, committing suicide, having an accident, being on death bed, or in his coffin.
- You cannot snap people unknowingly just to make fun of them
- You cannot share silly videos with people and taking up their phone space
- You cannot use someone's quote or photos or videos without giving the source or at least tagging them
- You cannot tweet or retweet something without making sure if it is true
- You cannot post pictures of your poop, vomit, blood or any other things people may find disgusting
These are just a few things that came to mind. If you have anything else you want to add to the list, please be my guest.
I will still use social media. However, this incident reminded me to be more careful. I reviewed my friends list on Facebook and deleted a few of them I no longer interact with. I also made my page private. As for my Instagram, I am considering turning it into private mode, after I review the people who are following me. My only problem is that I am afraid that if my Instagram becomes private, I will no longer be able to attract new followers, who will also read my blog. I will just have to figure out a way. For Twitter, I will pay more attention to the things I say. I really like trolling people on that app, and most of the time it is just for fun. But maybe someone has been hurt by what I said before.
Overall, with the use of Social media, one should just act like in real life: if you would not say or do these things in real life to a person, do not write it to them or share it with them on social media. Also treat people the way you would want to be treated and there won't be any issue.
Today's post will be a lengthy rant about the lack of etiquette in using social media. (You have been warned)
I am a fan of social media. Each of the ones I use serves a different purpose. I go on Facebook to connect with my friends who are scattered all over the world. Whatsapp also serves the same purpose except that it is reserved for those friends that I have a closer connection with. I use Instagram and Blogger to share my passion for fashion. I also use it to travel without ever living my house. I also use Pinterest for fashion and styling tips. And finally I go on Twitter to relieve my stress and laugh out loud. I am very present on social media. I like to engage in discussions, drool on styles and troll my friends. But what I hate the most is when someone in my circle sends me a porn video or some other sensitive thing.
Recently, a male friend of mine sent me a porn video. We were chatting on Whatsapp and he asked me what I was doing. I answered that I was looking for something to watch on Netflix. He replied by sending me a porn video of someone performing cunnilingus on a woman. I was shocked. He did not even warn me. The first thing you saw was a mouth sucking on a vagina. I immediately deleted it and proceeded to ask that person what was wrong with him. Let's just say that I did not minced my words. I even used the F words a couple of times. What made me angrier was that he did not even realized what was wrong and started to get angry. I just blocked him on all my social media without further explanation.
This is not the first time someone sent me something disturbing. Back when I was in college, and none of these social media existed, a (male) childhood friend sent me a video of a woman trying to have intercourse with a horse. I was so disturbed by it firstly because he did not warn me, the video was shocking to say the least and I was watching it in a public library. After the initial shock, I deleted it and sent a reply email asking the person why he thought this was something he should send me. He just answered that he found it funny. I did not block that person (because back then, I did not even know it was possible via email) but I started to distance myself from him. Nowadays, when I see him, I cordially say hello and go on my way.
I have the feeling that some people do not know how to use social media. In what world did you think it was okay to send me a porn video? I am not a prude. It is not like I never watched porn before. But it does not mean that I want someone to send me porn videos particularly when I did not even asked for them. If I want to watch porn, I know where to look. Thank you very much.
Lace Duster - Petersen Market
Leopard printed top - Thrifted (Saturday Market)
Wrap Pants - Uno Ouakam
Pom Pom sandals - HLM market
Watch - Jumia (online)
I am angry at the lack of respect because it boils down to it. That person did not respect me enough not to send me such videos. Or did I give him mixed signals? Even if I openly talked about sex with him, that still does not give him the right to send me pornographic content.
But porn is not the only disturbing thing I received on social media. Recently my father shared a video of an Argentinian supporter who decided to jump from a building because his soccer team lost a match during the World Cup. I watched the video and was mad. My Dad, the one who is always quick to judge the crazy things people share on WhatsApp, was the one who send me the video. What was he thinking? Obviously, since he is my Dad, I cannot really block him or tell him anything. Actually what he does not know is that I do not even watch 90% of the videos he sends me. I do not have time for that. Him on the other hand, has plenty of time to receive and shared videos. I am actually glad he usually filters them before re-sending. But that time, I do not know what got into him.
Social media should bring joy to the people using it. However since we are only humans with many faults, we use this fun tool and turn it into a weapon. Social media is a way of stalking, bullying, trolling, basically to do harm to people we do not necessarily know. Even the funniest of things turns into a full on beef with name calling and death threats just because of a difference of opinion. Furthermore we tend to overshare. Not everyone is interested in seeing pictures of what you ate for diner or where you went on vacation. Not everyone is also interested in seeing that video of terrorists beheading hostages or of you having a nervous breakdown.
With social media, people do not have restraint. They say what they want, when they want and however they want it. They think that the 280 words they were given on Twitter for example, give them the right to free speech. Freedom of speech is a right every one of us human should have. But this right also comes with responsibility. The responsibility not to hurt people around you. The platform also do not give you the right to share sensitive contents. Or even if you must, a simple warning or a question should suffice. Like "Hey girl! I know you are bored. How about you watch a video of a man going down on a woman?" I would still respond "Hell to the no!" and judge you. But at least we might still be friends (and I won' t have to block you indefinitely).
As much as I like to judge all of y'all for being stupid on Social media, I have to admit that I have been guilty of almost all the things I mentioned above. I do share stuff about me, my shoes, my diner plates, my kids, things I find interesting but that might bore you. I have been trolling people on social media, usually it is harmless but I probably hurt someone's feelings unintentionally once or thrice. I also had some beef on twitter and use some words I would not have allowed my kids to say. But I have never ever ever shared some porn even with my closest friends. And If I send something to them that I find somewhat sensitive, I always warn them first so at least they can chose to see it or not.
I wish with the use of every social media platform, came a set of rules like these:
- You cannot say anything offensive, racist, sexist, colorist, mean,
- You cannot insult people
- You cannot have a beef with your ex for us to witness
- You cannot send porn or a sex tape
- You cannot share nude pics of you or someone else
- You cannot share a dick pic
- You cannot tag someone on a picture where he or she is not on point
- You cannot share video of someone being raped, assaulted, beheaded, committing suicide, having an accident, being on death bed, or in his coffin.
- You cannot snap people unknowingly just to make fun of them
- You cannot share silly videos with people and taking up their phone space
- You cannot use someone's quote or photos or videos without giving the source or at least tagging them
- You cannot tweet or retweet something without making sure if it is true
- You cannot post pictures of your poop, vomit, blood or any other things people may find disgusting
These are just a few things that came to mind. If you have anything else you want to add to the list, please be my guest.
I will still use social media. However, this incident reminded me to be more careful. I reviewed my friends list on Facebook and deleted a few of them I no longer interact with. I also made my page private. As for my Instagram, I am considering turning it into private mode, after I review the people who are following me. My only problem is that I am afraid that if my Instagram becomes private, I will no longer be able to attract new followers, who will also read my blog. I will just have to figure out a way. For Twitter, I will pay more attention to the things I say. I really like trolling people on that app, and most of the time it is just for fun. But maybe someone has been hurt by what I said before.
Overall, with the use of Social media, one should just act like in real life: if you would not say or do these things in real life to a person, do not write it to them or share it with them on social media. Also treat people the way you would want to be treated and there won't be any issue.
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